You walk out of the interviewer's office feeling confident and energized. You had great rapport and offered thoughtful responses to all of the questions. All in all, you believe you made a good impression and feel assured that you've got the job in the bag.

Then, a week later, you receive a letter or an email that reads something like: "We have decided to move forward with a different candidate whose experience more closely matches our requirements at this time. Thank you for your interest in our organization."

It can be frustrating to prepare for an interview with all the necessary due diligence, time and energy, only to be told you didn't get the position. For many people, the only thing more maddening is not being told why you didn't get it.

There are a number of reasons why a company may not tell you upfront why they went with someone else (keeping in mind that many do not even bother to send a rejection notice). The recruiter may be busy and have too little time to follow up with every individual or they may not want to enter into an emotional confrontation with a rejected candidate.

At the same time, the recruiter might not want to reveal too much information out of fear they will accidentally slip and say something that may be perceived as hurtful or discriminatory.

To protect their employer and avoid a potential lawsuit, they choose to remain silent.

Still, most job seekers would rather get past this obstacle and receive constructive criticism that will help them fine-tune their interview skills for future opportunities. What was the interviewer's overall impression of them? What could they have done better? How can they improve upon their skills to meet the company's future needs?

Here are some tips to getting the feedback you need to move forward:

• Wait until you know for sure that someone has been hired before contacting the interviewer by phone or email. Let them know in a non-threatening way that you respect their decision and how much you would appreciate their honest insight into how your interview went.
• This is not a case where being overly persistent pays off. Leave one message and let the interviewer get back to you at their convenience; hounding them will only hurt your chances of ever hearing from the company again.
• If you do get a response, be sure to be a good listener. You will likely be told some things you do not want to hear (or did not realize you had been doing), but this is no time to get defensive. The job you wanted has already gone to someone else and no matter what you say, it isn't coming back.
• Ask questions to highlight both strengths and weaknesses, such as what you can do to be more effective in interviews and what most impressed the interviewer at your meeting.
• During your exchange, make it clear that you would be interested in hearing about future opportunities with the organization. Emphasize that you will work to improve the areas that you need to work on and will stay well informed of the company's news and growth.
• Finally, it is always advisable to follow up an interview with a gracious thank-you note. Express that you were disappointed that you didn't get the position but that you respect the decision and appreciate the time you were afforded. Thank them for considering your application and say that you would welcome the opportunity to discuss future openings.

It is a rare opportunity to get feedback after a failed interview, which makes the interviewer's input all the more valuable. But remember, this is just only one recruiting experience and one person's opinion of your flaws. If you are truly concerned about how you come across in interviews, ask a colleague you trust for their advice as well.

---- With reporting by Barbara Chabai

John McFerran, PhD, F. CHRP, is founder and president of People First HR Services Ltd. For more information, visit www.peoplefirsthr.com.

RESEARCH:

http://career-advice.monster.ca/job-interview/following-up/getting-feedback-when-you-didnt-get-the-job-canada/article.aspx

http://www.careerdoctor.org/career-doctor-blog/2009/08/should-you-ask-why-you-didnt-g.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29796678/

Where Did I Go Wrong?

Apart from not being qualified or there being a candidate better suited for the position, there may have been other factors that got in the way of getting a second interview or even a job offer.

According to WorkCoachCafe.com, here are the top 10 things that turn off interviewers:

1. Candidate displays lack of energy.

2. Gives answers that are too vague.

3. Much too talkative or way too quiet.

4. Does not listen well.

5. Fails to offer strong examples of what they have previously done well.

6. Arrives late.

7. Dresses inappropriately.

8. Acts unprofessionally or overly familiar.

9. Makes poor eye contact or uses off-putting (too stiff or too slack) body language.

10. Does not act naturally or as if being themselves.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 23, 2010 I2